Happy Birthday to me ?

“You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.”
~Meredith Grey (Grey's Anatomy)

I'm sooo freakin' happy! :))
Yayyy! Seriously.
Like 50% HAPPY.
LMAO.

Anyways, I celebrated my 18th birthday last July 19, 2009. Well, my actual birthday is during the 15th.
And I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
I'm alread 18! Honestly, I'm not thrilled or whatever. In fact, I dont wanna grow old.
But I guess, that's how life goes. *sigh*

So many things happened, I dont know where to begin.
Soo, uhmm, okay.

July15, a LOT of people greeted me. Family, friends, best friends, closest friends and even people I dont know. I'm soo overwhelmed with all their greetings. BUT, at the end of the day, I realized, SOMEONE IMPORTANT forgot (I dont know if it's on purpose or not) to greet me.

And I sighed. What else can I do right?
Really, I've waited for that SOMEONE to greet me. I mean, I expected that person to greet me. I thought I'm still some kind of special, you know. After all, I should be special. Well, I think I should.

Soo uhh, okay, lesson learned. DO NOT EXPECT.

And 3 days have passed and it's my debut day! Yahooo!
Excited much?? Not really.. Seriously!

Well, Ive exerted a lot of effort for my debut, and I think Ive just gone tired because of it. But I'm excited to see the people I love all together in one place.
So debut time, lots of GREETINGS again. Lots of picture takings! Lots of wishes! Lots of gifts! Awesome! The party went really well. I'm satisfied how it turned out. And I can say that I'm happy.

When we got home, I'm soo excited to open my gifts. I completely forgot that I haven't eaten for the entire night! Well, it doesn't matter as of that moment.
New gifts, new things, new babies!

After an hour or two, I received a call from my Aunt saying that my other Aunt passed away. And I was like, Oh my God! I'm so shocked that I cried almost instantly.

I feel like I am cursed or a bad luck. Or my birthday is the bad luck. Most deaths in our family, happened mostly in July. Well, I'm not the only one in our family whose birthday is July.

I just feel guilty and sad. I mean, we are having fun, I am having fun. Partying. Not knowing that my Aunt suffering and coding.

And I cried. What else can I do right?

“Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be
human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate.”
~Meredith Grey (Grey's Anatomy)